Just an Update

"Never give up, never surrender!"

I have gradually changed from the idea of 'being on a diet' to deciding to change my whole lifestyle for good. I've increased my intake of fruits and vegetables, and drastically decreased my consumption of simple carbs.

I've kept up my commitment to the TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) group, and while I am losing weight very slowly, I am still losing weight. Showing up for meetings and being weighed once a week helps keep me honest.

One thing I'm trying now is not eating after 6pm at night, after I decided that late-night eating was a really bad habit. I may sometimes go to bed hungry, but I know that I will have a healthy breakfast the next day, so no problems.

I haven't given up yet....

Since I last wrote, a lot has happened. My husband and I have moved from our old home in La Mesa and are now living in a senior community in Chula Vista. I've also had lots and lots of excuses not to stay on a diet, included multiple vacation days in Indiana, Kentucky, Finland, and Estonia. All the places had foods which I just had to try, and although I also got a lot of exercise, my weight is up again. I've also had some new health problems.

On the positive side, the senior living community offers healthy food, a gymn with regular programs, and -- best of all -- I found that a local chapter of TOPS meets once a week on the property.

Now that I'm back, and have no more trips planned for a few months, I'm back to committing to my diet. I want to eat healthy and exercise and start losing weight again.

Moomin & Me - Helsinki Airport

Some setbacks, but I'm still here...

There's been a lot of water under the bridge since I last posted, but I haven't given up.

Set Points and "My 600 Pound Life"

I weighed myself yesterday and my weight was exactly where it had been the last time I weighed in, in spite of the holidays and in spite of the fact that I've transitioned from Nutrisystem to my own plan based on using "My Fitness Pal" to make sure that I get a good balance of carbs, fat, and protein while staying within my calorie limits.

I've read some new diet and nutrition books - one called "The Simple Diet", but I decided that there was no new information there, I just needed to practice what I already knew worked.  Now I need to fine-tune things* so that I can start losing weight again. It is good to get back to real food.

On "My 600 Pound Life" - I watched an episode the other day and found it really horrifying. Of course, it made me feel slender, but I couldn't help but wonder how people let themselves get so overweight. I figured that 'set points' are what keep a lot of people on plateaus, but somehow these 600+ folks hadn't any point where they decided "OK, I need to lose weight." For me, my weight seems to reach a plateau around 180-190. My husband, who eats more than I do, stays around 150 lbs without effort.

I also wondered what I had in common with those 600-pounders. Some of the behaviors I saw were "sedentary behavior", eating in response to non-hunger emotions, and having the "Food is Love" connection. A lot of them just seemed to lay around while someone else brought them food. Help!

*'fine tuning' refers to the fact that you may gradually increase your portion size if you aren't careful. I think an analogy might be the fact that traffic experts say that you tend to speed up, in time, on long drives....just so, your tablespoon of peanut butter may become a heaping tablespoon. I brought out the food measures again.

Not a surprise - weight up since the holidays....but I'm still here...

Weight up since the holidays and vacation. Even though my husband and I are not social butterflies we did attend several parties. Add to that the stresses of the holidays and my own post-election mood.

Even Christmas shopping, although I managed to almost reach my 10,000 stops-a-day goal on several shopping expeditions, was full of unexpected hazards. Did you know that what Panera has in the bagel display marked Pumpkin Bagel* is not a bagel at all, but a sweet pastry? I didn't...

I was gifted with a small amount of very good chocolate. I split it 50/50 and ate my half last night - gave the rest to my husband, who has better willpower and is not a chocoholic. Life is too short to eat bad chocolate.

Life is also too short to pretend that diet versions of things are 'just as good'...After making a mock eggnog with non-fat milk, two tablespoons of rum, and flavoring, I decided that I might as well just have the rum straight.

But now I'm back on the wagon, so to speak.  But I've decided I'm not getting back on the Nutrisystem Wagon or the Weightwatcher's Wagon or even the The Doctor's Simple Weight-Loss Plan Wagon.  I read about all the options and I'm back with planning ahead and using My Fitness Pal to calculate my calories, and I'm going to exercise more.

Yesterday I cooked a ham and I was surprised to see that three ounces of ham is only around 100 calories. I will probably end up freezing a lot of leftover ham. Fortunately one of the cats likes the fatty bits I cut off.

I still have some Nutrisystem left, mostly lunches, but I'm not reordering.

Today's totals, already planned, with fruit and vegetables, is around 1400 calories.

*Panera's website calls this a "Pumpkin Pie Bagel" and says is it 380 calories.

Unexpected one pound loss

"Down" to 195, or a total of eight pounds lost in about 70 days, or one pound lost about every nine days.

It would be nice if I could hurry things up, but the rest of the month is a hazard course of parties and gift goodies.

"Down" to 196, or Seven Pounds Lost

I'm not weighing myself every day now, so it was a few days ago that I found out I had lost another pound in spite of four days off the official diet. I think part of the weight loss may have been because on my own I choose low-salt options if I can. I believe Nutrisystem has too much sodium and other preservatives.

My back is getting better. I dug out the back exercise pamphlet my doctor gave me, and I went online and reviewed my HMO's treatment guidelines. I've also been doing a little cooking and I'm trying to find recipes that my husband will like and that fit into a healthy weight-loss diet. I really hate having to weigh and measure things, and having to use math to figure out calorie composition/protein/carb ratio, etc....

I've been reading the nutrition information on Nutrisystem products and it had seemed to me as if Nutrisystem products have more protein than similar packaged foods, but I see I am at least partly wrong:

Here's one example:

Nutrisystem Nutriflakes Cereal:  110 calories, 1 gram fat, 5 gram fiber, 3 grams protein, 210 grams sodium in 1 oz (28g) container

Kellogg's All-Bran Cereal Wheat Flakes: 90 calories, .5gram fat,  5 gram fiber, 3 grams protein, 210 grams sodium in 29g container

Although the Kellogg's serving is almost the same size as the Nutriflake's serving, the Kellogg's has fewer calories and fat. The fiber, sodium,  and protein are the same.

This means though, that I can substitute Kellogg's bran flakes for some breakfasts without getting out of the Nutrisystem pattern; however, since my husband likes Bob's Red Mill Thick rolled oats I think I would prefer that.

One serving of Bob's Red Mill Thick Rolled Oats (1/2 cup dry) would be 210 calories, 3.5 grams fat, zero sodium, and six grams of protein. This would work if I put breakfast carb and the "smart carb snack" together. I would also have to figure out how much 1/2 cup dry measures out if I make it for both of us.

This is getting complicated.

Goodbye to Nutrisystem and the search for something that worksa bit faster..

It has become obvious that Nutrisystem is not working very fast. I still like the ease of the program, but after more than two months I have not lost even seven pounds.

I have several other concerns:

•  My husband has been patient, but it is clear that he would like me to start cooking regular meals again.
• I have started to become concerned about the amount of preservatives and the sugar substitutes in Nutrisystem. This is probably OK for a short-term diet, but if I am going to have to stay on any diet for over a year I need to move to something more healthy. 
• Also, I miss real food.
• My back has gone out again, and losing weight more quickly would be a big help.

I'm still looking for 'easy', but I'm going to start looking for another diet. I still have 21 days of meals left, so there is time to plan.

Thanksgiving and the aftermath:

Thanksgiving is always awkward for me because I have never been the "relative with the big house and a dining room". Many years ago the whole tribe used to meet at either my parents' house or one of my aunts' or sister-in-law's houses. As the years have gone by some of the older relatives no longer cook, some have moved out of state, and some have formed new allegiances, so what remains of the family has either gone to one sister-in-law's house or we've eaten out at a restaurant.

This year, with the Master Cook and others of the family gone to help out a relative who had moved back East, there were only four of us for Thanksgiving. I ordered a Thanksgiving box from Marie Callendar's and my brother heated it up at his house. I tell myself that it is not the food, it is the family.  One advantage of this approach, however, is that I didn't feel obliged to sample everything so that I could compliment people on their cooking. I still ate too much, though.

After Thanksgiving my husband and I went out of town to a small three-day science fiction convention and I think I managed pretty well in spite of having to eat out a few times, and in spite of having to face food everywhere. It seemed as if every vender and bid table had candy on offer, and there were many parties with temptations like cheesecake and chocolate fountains, an Ice Cream Social, and a Con Suite (a meeting/snacking area with different beverages, but mostly items like M&M's and cheese crackers. Fortunately the author who used to bring twenty pounds of chocolate did not do that this year. )We stopped at Trader Joe's on the way up and I stocked up on fresh fruit, hummus, muffins, kefir, low-fat cheese and low-fat Greek yogurt. A lot of that didn't get used, but I always knew that there was something healthy back in the hotel room when I got hungry.

Now to figure out what to cook when I start cooking again.

And another one bites the dust...

Another pound down. That makes six pounds so far. Some people manage to lose that much in a week. Guess I need to be patient.

Another Pound Bites the Dust

Sadly, that's only the fifth pound, and actually it had gone last week before I went on vacation, but after five days on vacation it took another five days to get back to where I was.

Obviously, I am able to keep from losing weight on very few calories. I figure that I need to use up an additional 3500 calories, or approximately 500 calories a day, to lose a pound a week. That's a lot of exercise.

I understand, though, that if exercise builds muscles then your muscled body uses more calories. We'll see. At my age, I'm not going to start out by running marathons, but let's see what I can do.

Conservation of Energy vs. Weight Loss

One thing I've found is that I tend to 'slow down' when dieting, instead of losing weight. I guess my body decides that it should conserve energy.

Obviously, I need to exercise more while I'm reducing calories.

Just back from a five-day vacation. There was no way to avoid eating out and attending potlucks and ice-cream socials, but I managed not to binge and I'm rapidly re-losing the few pounds I gained.

One realization is that I am always going to have to watch what I eat - if I lose weight so very slowly when I'm on 1200-1300 calories a day, then my basal metabolism must be very low.

Food Porn...And One Thing Not to Do When You Are On a Diet

When I'm dieting, I find that I spend more time cutting out recipes and viewing what I call "Food Porn" - tv shows that focus on cooking techniques or that travel to different restaurants, and I also spend more time reading online reviews of services that offer to sell you different kinds of food.

One of my favorite food porn sites is MySubscriptionAddiction which reviews a multitude of "box of the month" clubs. You can sign up to get a box of different Japanese treats every month, or a weekly box of basic meal ingredients and the recipes to prepare them.  There are a few one-time offers, for example, Martha Stewart will send you all the ingredients and instructions to make a Thanksgiving meal for eight to ten people.  There aren't too many "diet" options, but I guess that Nutrisystem could be considered a food subscription box system for dieters.

I like Japanese things, so I had been looking at several Japanese-themed boxes, but I realized that getting a whole pound of goodies at one time would be hazardous, so yesterday (my diet day off) I stopped by Daiso and picked up a container of Meji Yan Yan as my "day off treat".

I don't think that having the treat itself was that big a mistake, but my decision not to eat anything else for the rest of the day was, because after several hours I got so hungry all my good intentions disappeared and I extended the list of "day-off treats".

So, now I know not to try that again. At least I didn't sign up for a "candy of the month" club.

Finally, another pound gone

Down to 199,  a four-pound loss in all. Sad I let my weight balloon past 200, but hopeful that I am slowly recovering lost ground. It is some small comfort that I have never experienced a fast or steady weight loss, even when I was much younger, on a near-starvation diet, coping with a full-time job, and single-parenting a very active youngster. My body, like my self, is stubborn. On the other hand, I seem to gain weight easily...perhaps I should coin a new adage "Too fast fat, too slow thin." instead of my traditional "Too soon old, too late smart."

I have to admit Nutrisystem provides an easy way to lose weight. I don't have to weigh and measure everything, and I don't have to count calories. I don't have to cook every day. I still haven't managed to overcome habitual habits - I still find myself in front of the refrigerator, or reaching towards the jar of mixed nuts we buy at Costco, but then I pull myself back. I still feel hunger, but I'm learning to live with it.

I can't stay on Nutrisystem forever, though...and I need to plan for days off and special events so that my slow loss isn't undone by a day(or more) of over-eating. Right now thing's are
pretty tranquil, except for the ghastly news, no one in my immediate family is ill or involved in any kind of drama; however, vacations and holidays loom and I need to make plans.

A note on water.  I think Nutrisystem recommends 64-oz of water a day. What I do is fill four 16-oz glass bottles every day and put them in the refrigerator, so that I always have a cool drink handy. I used to use plastic bottles but worried about the chemicals in the plastic. The bottles are recycled from juices and kombucha.

Addendum 10-16-16: Right after starting to write "thing's have been pretty tranquil" I fried my computer keyboard by spilling water on it and not immediately diconnecting it and turning it upside down on something absorbent while I waited for it to dry out. An expensive lesson. Yesterday, my "day off", I was able to buy a new keyboard and managed to eat relatively sensibly. Today I'm back on track.

Another Loss, Even After a Day Off

Current weight: 200
Pounds lost: 3

Yesterday was a "day off" because I was attending an open house "with breakfast" in the morning, and then went to an Octoberfest.  I had planned ahead to have only fruit at the open house, and to try to eat sensibly at the Octoberfest.  I was waylaid a bit by nuts and peanut M&M's put out on the picnic tables before the food was ready and I made the mistake of choosing a Bud Light rather than a smaller portion of 'real beer' but all in all I think it went well and I didn't binge when I got home.

I'm thinking that I have perhaps had too many occasions when I have thought "Well, I ruined today's diet so I might as well eat more today."

Also got in a long walk of perhaps a mile and a half.

13th Day

No changes. Today I chose my meals from the "28 days with weekends off" plan. I've decided to try to start with the items that I don't particularly like. For breakfast that would be the cereals and the oatmeals, for lunch it would be the items that you have to add water to, for dinner it would be the pizza, and for snacks it would be the "snack mix".

I think some of the worst items I remember from years past are gone, or perhaps I didn't see them when I unpacked. There was a "meat patty" that you had to soak in water to reconstitute, and there was "the world's smallest hot dog".

Twelfth Day - Finally a Whole Pound Gone

This morning the scale showed I was "down" to 202 lbs. That means I've lost a whole pound. I guess I need to be more patient (and exercise more).

I was on the last day of the two 5-day boxes of Nutrisystem I had bought at Walmart, and planning what I would do until the Nutrisystem I ordered from QVC arrived, when my husband told me that a delivery man was coming up the driveway with "two big boxes".

(Several days ago I found out that QVC had shipped two* (rather than one) of the Nutrisystem packages and it was too late to cancel so I had decided to just let things be.)

Now I've got enough product to last me quite a while:

Two 7-day "Fast5" packages.  This is what I "should have" started with, so I guess I'm doing things backwards.  The "Fast5" program recommends that each day you have a Nutrisystem breakfast, lunch, and dinner, an "energizing" shake, a "crush-craving" shake, and four servings of vegetables. The difference between a Fast5 day and a regular day is that there are no SmartCarbs or Powerfuels, just four servings of the recommended non-starchy vegetables. There also aren't any Nutrisystem snacks. I've decided not to try to do the whole "Fast5" thing at once but to use it as an alternate - perhaps after one of my "days off".

The rest of each package has food for five "weekends off" weeks, with the regular breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack and the recommendation that each day you add two "Smartcarbs" and two "Powerfuels" plus four non-starchy vegetables.  This is basically the same daily pattern as the Walmart packages, except that the Walmart package came with a grocery shopping list and more specific recommendations for what Powerfuels and Smartcarbs to use each day. While the QVC package includes a thicker instruction booklet than the Walmart packages did, I am still going to have to go to the Nutrisystem website to get more detailed information about SmartCarb and Powerfuel substitutions. I should add that the Meal Planner that came with the QVC shipment only has a one-sheet guide to the "Fast5" and the Meal Planner for the rest of the package only has room to write down 28 days-worth of meals. Since the QVC package actually has enough product for 35 days (with weekends off) I'm wondering why they put the package together that way.

My rough calculation is that with the QVC package it works out to about $9.37 per day for the days when you are not on your own, and that is not counting any additions (Powerfuels, SmartCarbs, or non-starchy vegetables) you decide to add. This is pretty close to the $9.86 per day currently offered through Nutrisystem, but I believe you have to sign up for auto-shipping if you want that price through Nutrisystem. I also note that the QVC tag that came with each order says it will only deduct about $11 from your refund if you return it; while the Nutrisystem website says it would deduct over $19 for a similar package if you returned it for a refund.

Double order 6-week Nutrisystem from QVC

I separated the Nutrisystem into eight boxes: four for the Fast5, and four for the double six-week program. It was hard work and my back hurts now. Stored it in the bedroom, and now there is hardly room to walk around the bed. Somewhat reassuring to know that I won't starve to death for a while, but also a bit frightening to think about how long it is going to take to get rid of everything. 

*Regarding the double order. When I had started the original order the computer 'hung' half-way through, so I had to log out and start again. When the final page listed "2" I thought I had changed it to "1" but apparently I was wrong. No one's fault but my own. My Mom once said that she thought she had been "scared by a machine" before I was born, so that is perhaps why I have such bad luck doing certain things online.

Tenth Day - Still no Major Progress

Yesterday (Saturday) my husband and I took my Mom to the Zoo for a day trip. She uses a walker, but we pushed her around in a transport chair we bought for excursions where she might have to do more walking than usual.

The Zoo was really crowded - I had forgotten that October was "Children are Free" month, but it was still delightful to walk around and enjoy the Zoo. We took the Monkey Trail to Albert's restaurant, and then walked the Hippo Trail, ending up at the Children's Zoo. I think my Mom had a good time, and I estimate I walked about 9800 steps, based on my husband's pedometer reading.  Fortunately my Mom weighs less than 100 lbs.

This was a planned "day off the diet" and I tried to eat sensibly, but I'm still stuck at my last weight.  I'm not giving up, though. Today I joined Moose & Doc's "Waiting for the Moose" on Facebook.
The original Talking Moose was related to Clippy - back in the dark ages. I liked Talking Moose more than Clippy, and I'm looking forward to his next incarnation.

Eighth Day: I Lose a Few Ounces, & Nutrition Comparisons

This morning my weight was down a few ounces to 202.6. It gives me a bit of encouragement, but I know "The scale giveth and the scale taketh away." At this rate I don't want to think of how long it will take me to reach my weight goal of 135.

Even after reducing the "Power fuels" and the "Smart Carb" additions on the plan I wondered if I was getting too many calories, so I did a spreadsheet comparison using My Fitness Pal.  I compared yesterday's Nutrisystem menu with a routine I had worked out last year after consulting with an exercise/nutrition expert.

Comparing my old plan with my Nutrisystem diabetic plan (plus one powerfuel, one smartcarb, a turbo shake and a large salad with non-fat dressing) I see that the values are pretty close. Even though the sodium levels on the Nutrisystem are double what they were on my old plan, they are still within what I understand to be the recommended limits.

Old Plan/Nutrisystem
1393 calories/1235 calories
162g carbs/169g
49g fat/37g
76g protein/72g protein
47mg cholesterol/60mg cholesterol
996mg sodium/1,927mg sodium
70g sugar/64g sugar
30g fiber/32g fiber

Some rambling. You may notice that I am backtracking on some of these entries - actually putting things down after they happened. The reason is that I don't always feel up to (or have the time) to blog every day. I must also confess that I believe I have the symptoms of ADHD, otherwise known as "oh look, a chicken", or, as I prefer to call it "Mr. Toad's Syndrome". When I was growing up they didn't have all the fancy labels they do now. If I was in gradeschool now, I would probably be medicated. Back then, the teachers usually found things for me to do, or shook me. Part of continuing with this blog is not just to keep me on a diet program, but to keep me on track with a project and not just stop halfway.

Seventh Day - Returning the Costco Card & "Chubby Heroines"

No change in weight.

Costco Card:  Today I returned the Costco gift card for the "Weekends Off" Nutrisystem package. The credit-card sized card had come in a large bubblewrap envelope, and after I found out it was no longer honored by Nutrisystem I got an email that I would have to return it via UPS, which involved printing out a label, pasting it on an envelope with the card inside, locating the closest UPS station, and then taking it there. At least I got a few blocks extra walking, but it seems like a lot of work to return a very small card which should not have been sent to me in the first place.

Unwanted product bought from Nutrisystem directly has to be returned via FedEx:

 "All requests for refunds and returns must be made within 30 days of delivery of your package. Please call Customer Service at 1-800-585-5483 to obtain a Return Authorization Number (RMA#). Customer service representatives will explain how to return non frozen foods via FedEx. Your package must be postmarked within 48-72 hours after the RMA # has been issued to you. Any refused packages that are returned to our warehouse without an RMA# will have a return shipping of $19.99 deducted from any credit issued."

Please note: There is no refund for frozen food.

Chubby Heroines:  I've finished reading Good in Bed: Jennifer Weiner: 9780743418171: Amazon.com: Books which is about a "chubby heroine". I didn't like the ending, because it seemed a bit contrived, but the author's portrayal of an overweight woman is very sympathetic. It struck me, though, that most of the "overweight" heroines in literature are younger women who also have pretty faces and work out a lot. Where are the sympathetic overweight women who don't work out a lot or who are older? It seems as if a lot of "larger overweight women" in literature are usually there for comic relief, like Lula in the Stephanie Plum novels.

Here is Goodreads list of books with "plump, overweight, curvy" heroines. A search for "plump older women" led me to a raft of porn sites and this site which shows the belly fat in older women can be correlated to a higher risk of cognitive decline. Help!

Fat older women can make great villains, or serve as 'motherly figures'. I guess I will have to work on my 'motherly' image.

I should add that it is not only fiction that is not kind to old fat women, I don't think we get much respect anywhere; i.e., when I emailed my doctor asking for an appointment and gave one of the main reasons that I was concerned about gaining weight she seemed to shrug her shoulders about the subject when we met in person. Perhaps I should have been more stubborn about asking for help, but perhaps she felt there was no help she could give me.

Sixth Day - The Cold Equations

No change in weight. Today is the last day of the first 5-day box of Nutrisystem.

"The Cold Equations" was a science fiction story by Tom Godwin in which an environment which leaves no margin for error results in a tragic outcome. The narrator has to make a decision to let one person die, so that a greater number of people can live.

Imagine if you will, a body that does not waste anything you fuel it with. If you have eaten more than your body needs, it is stored away as fat. Even worse, it is harder to use that fat for fuel than it was to store it in the first place.

I decide to reduce the "power fuel" and "smart carb" exchanges.